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Kurang lebih begitu English nya...hehe
Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?
If people from Poland are called 'Poles', why aren't people from Holland called 'Holes?'
Operator! Give me the number for 911. ~Homer Simpson~
I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said `Are you going to help?` I said, `No, Six should be enough.` ~Les Dawson~
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
You can't leave footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to leave buttprints in the sands of time?
Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. ~Douglas Adams~
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
What you call dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. ~Henny Youngman~
Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway. ~Joey Adams~
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
Boys: No Shirt, No Service Girls: No Shirt, No Charge.
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. ~A. Whitney Brown~
You laugh because I'm different... I laugh cause I just farted!
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. ~Socrates~
There are three sides of an arguement -- your side, my side and the right side.
There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money. ~Benjamin Franklin~
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong. ~VOLTAIRE~
A drunk is in front of a judge. The judge says, 'You've been brought here for drinking.' The drunk says, 'Okay, let's get started.'
You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine'.
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.
I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.
Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
You are getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.
Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors. ~African Proverb~
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